Joe Blevins Day Is Your Lucky Day

By Chris Leavens

I'll keep this short and sweet. The long-absent Mr. Joe Blevins sent an email message our way, so in celebration of Unloosen Awareness Month's Joe Blevins Day -- October 13 -- here is that message in its entirety:


I have found out through the usual channels that October 13 is a day devoted to my whereabouts. Rest assured, I am alive and relatively well. My creative pursuits have not ceased, contrary to rumors. In fact, I have devoted all my spare time these last four years to completing my literary masterwork, my magnum opus, if you will. After countless hours sweating over revised drafts, I feel I am now ready to unveil this work in honor of my special day. Here is the story in its entirety, tastefully left untitled:

The famous monsters of filmdom were gathered together for a reunion in Transylvania one evening not long ago. Dracula, the Wolf Man, and the Creature of the Black Lagoon were all in attendance. In a secluded corner of the room, the Frankenstein Monster and the Invisible Man stood chatting.

“So,” said the Invisible Man, his transparent head and limbs wrapped in gauze, his torso outlined by a velvet smoking jacket, “how is the Bride of Frankenstein these days?”

“She’s fine, thanks” replied the Monster. “ How’s the Invisible Woman?”

“Oh, I stopped seeing her.”


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Truly a master of the medium.
Happy Joe Blevins day!

I predict that soon Joe Blevins day will be a national holiday in Ecuador or Bolivia or Suriname.

Excellent! And what's more: it finally blows the lid off of that damn cabal of celluloid creepers who have caused me a little tossin' and a little turnin' in my so-called "sleep" the past few decades.

I knew, I somehow knew that, all this time, they were probably talking about, you know, stuff.

Still, if you weren't joking, then it's actually kind of sad that the Invisibles aren't together anymore. I'd say I can't see them with anybody else but it really goes beyond that. They... They were just so terrific together.

Oh well, tears of laughter, tears of joy, your great tale has brought forth both in me. They've streamed down my face, mixed with my snot, and now my mustache is cleaner than it's ever been. Thank you.

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This page contains a single entry by Chris Leavens published on October 12, 2006 7:47 PM.

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