Men's Beauteen

By Chris Leavens

Took my new camera and a new lens out for a test drive in downtown LA on Sunday and I felt compelled to stop into Mitsuwa, one of my all-time favorite supermarkets. Mitsuwa is a Japanese supermarket filled with excellent imports from the land of Godzilla. What does a young Japanese man do when he needs to impress the ladies? Why he colors his hair, of course. What does he use to color his hair?

It was a toss-up between this and another mens' hair dye called 'Gatsby.' Kind of makes our silly American 'Just for Men' formulas seem flaccid by comparison, doesn't it?


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If an impending war with Japan was inevitable, it is objects like this that give me faith that we can beat their army.

On the other hand, they'll just unleash scores of Japanese schoolgirls to distract us.

Whereas I believe items like this only further prove the latent strength, vigor, and tenacity of this island nation. I mean, this guy just changed his hair color and is 100% prepared to look death in the face while helming some sort of super jet with honest-to-God laser weapons.

When the war comes, I want Japan and their secret army of giant robots on our side.

General Store guy: We sell Fop.

Clooney: I don't want Fop, Goddammit! I'm a Dapper Dan man!

General Store guy: All we have is Fop. But we can order Dapper Dan; it'll take about two weeks.

Clooney: Well this place is quite the geographical oddity, isn't it? Two weeks from everywhere!

Mr. Darrin,

"O Brother, Where Art Thou?" is one of my favorite movies of all time. I can watch it over and over consecutively and never tire of that handsome fox, George Clooney, and his goofy exploits in Depression-era South.

The Coen Brothers are completely underrated filmmakers.

I remember once when me and Beauteen went down to Jinky's Roadhouse and Wade, her ex, was down there and wanted to fight. It weren't much of a fight, but Beauteen did get some beer spilled on her new acid wash jeans and someone put a nick in one of the new Mopar stripes I just got on the 'Cuda.

Not the best night of my life, but Jinky's was having two-for-one bottle beers, so it weren't as bad as it could have been.

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This page contains a single entry by Chris Leavens published on December 4, 2006 6:57 PM.

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