China's Newest Population Control Method

By Chris Leavens

My girlfriend and I were doing a little Christmas shopping in LA's Chinatown when we chanced upon a street performance. Two men demonstrated both their Shaolin kungfu skills and their extraordinary pelvic might. Luckily, I had my camera.

Click any of the photos for a bigger version. Be sure to read on and view the rest because they only get better.

Let's warm up with some chi-energy building exercises:

And then we'll scare the white people with some sword and ribbon sorcery:

That didn't seem to work. How about you take this metal spear and lean on it, balancing all of your weight on that single, sharp point? Sound good? Good. I'll crack this wooden rod over your back to heighten the effect.

And now, the grand finale. Drum roll (you've got to click this one for the full effect)...

As Homer Simpson once said, "It works on so many levels."

A bit of meditative healing was necessary after that one:

The End.


| Leave a comment

Someone may be ordering a t-shirt that says "it works on so many levels" on the front.

As for your picture, I can confirm that that move in particular works at levels 4 and higher. (For reference, listening to the first Wu-tang album immediately puts you at level 2, although subsequent advancement is much more involved. Infants and the fully enlightened are, of course, at level 0.)

What is up with the giant asian man with his hands in his pockets? Is he a statue? Is he a robot? Is he a statue with a robotic head that moves right to left to right? I want more pictures of that guy looking at stuff.

That guy? Oh, he just haunts you.

You can see the Giant Asian Man With His Hands In His Pockets?

Oh dear...

There is an ancient legend about Big Handspocket Style and what a vision of him portends.

As I tend to fall asleep about halfway through the recitation of all legends, I can't exactly say what it means, but I do seem to recall something that says if you see BHS you should probably put a sprig of parsley over the least-used door of your home or place of residence for one or sixty days.

As far as the overall picture set goes, it looks like that fellow "Chris" managed to observe some extraordinarily high power levels of the sort that would surely attract the attentions of Kakarot and that lout Vegeta.

Leave a comment

Entry Archives

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Chris Leavens published on November 26, 2006 7:15 PM.

Happy Thanksgiving from Henry was the previous entry in this blog.

Men's Beauteen is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.