Bottling Yuengling by Chris Leavens

By Chris Leavens


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As a going to be 21-year-old, I can testify to the fact that Yuengling is the closest thing to liquid gold you can drink without coating your entire digestive system in a molten metal.

Go on a tour of the brewery for your 21st. Free beer!

Isn't the buying of the beer part of the deal? The first legal beer should be purchased with your own money, I think.

Wait, are you saying that the brewery gives out beer to all legal adults as part of the tour, or that the brewery gives the gift of beer expressly to anyone who happens to be turning 21 on the tour that day? Because that would be about the awesomest idea and now that I mention it I have dibs on that idea and anyone who I catch starting a brewery and using my idea is going to have heck to pay and I hope the judge has no sympathy for you.

The brewery still cards you. I'm sure they'd make a big-ass deal out of someone coming in to celebrate their 21st. Plus, if you really like Yuengling, it would be a great way to grab your first legal quaff. They give you two full cups of your flavor of choice -- free.

Other people have already come up with your ideas, Ed. They're called facists. They live in countries like North Korea and Alabama and they're no fun at parties.

Chris, first of all, I know you like some of the ideas that fascists (note correct spelling) have, but just because you have fascist leanings and I hang out with you occasionally doesn't mean that I'm fascist or even half-fascist.

Second, Koreans don't drink beer. They're lactose intolerant.

Third, I googled "give free beer to anyone turning 21 on same day they take brewery tour", and you'll be surprised to find out that there were no hits. If you could google ideas, you would get one hit, which would be me.

Fourth, as long as I've known you, you've stopped at nothing to increase your party reputation at my expense. It's getting rather tired, Chris--rather tired. Everyone knows who the party man is. The tag on the shirt I'm wearing right now says "woven from 100% party."

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This page contains a single entry by Chris Leavens published on August 31, 2006 3:34 PM.

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