These Tires Are FABULOUS! by Chris Leavens

By Chris Leavens

I saw this sign in east central Pennsylvania and I was nonplussed. I still don't know what to say.


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In the winter months, he gets a layer of hunting clothing nailed onto him. Honest.

Is "he" truly a "he?"

This is disturbing in more ways than I heretofore thought possible.

He also offers a good lube and oiling

Well, it looks like "Keithy" has been officially outed. What did Keithy accomplish in order to get the CONGRATS from this dude? Perhaps this is the story for "Mannequin 3"? Where Ken here and the Beaver thing at Knoebel's come to life and thwart the plans of evil developers bent on building a Taco Bell across from the gun club?

I think that's a woman. Sister can't help it if she has a big jaw... and needs to shave... and probably has an Adam's apple.

...And is named Ken?

O silly boys! Shes not NAMED Ken, she is but Ken's property. Der. And im sure the outfit was inspired by none other.. Jessica Simpson. You go girl!

I drove by the site of Ken's Tire Co. and this sign is no longer displayed. One can only hope that it was not persecuted for its beliefs.
Hopefully Keithy saw Ken's true feelings and they ran away together to Dearborne, MI where they are now working as ballet instructors.

Sad news indeed. My guess is that he picked up and retired to South Beach, FL with his new love, Jean Paul.

I've heard from multiple people that this sign has been there for years and I'm sincerely surprised that it lasted as long as it did. A buff, brawny dude waltzing around sporting tight, SHORT shorts with a freakin' slit cut up the side (for comfort, right?)? Seems like someone fitting that profile in PA coal country is just begging for a hate crime to be committed.

Then again, how much guff was Ralphy Hotpants given?

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This page contains a single entry by Chris Leavens published on June 28, 2005 7:16 AM.

Urban Decay in Philadelphia 1 by Chris Leavens was the previous entry in this blog.

War Of The Worlds: A Club 11 Movie Review is the next entry in this blog.

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