The untimely demise of the late, lamented "Project: Fear Itself" left a hole in my heart which I felt would remain forever unrepaired. In my grief and anguish, I asked the Good Lord: "Where shall I go? What shall I do?" I received no response, which I interpreted as His way of saying, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."
But, lo! In His wisdom, He sent to me an angel named Lars von Trier. Specifically, the Archangel von Trier manifested itself unto me through a fascinating documentary entitled De Fem benspænd (distributed domestically as The Five Obstructions), in which the caustic Danish director challenges mentor Jørgen Leth to remake Det perfekte menneske five different times, with a unique "obstruction" each time. For instance, Leth might have to remake Menneske using only sock puppets or while standing on one foot in a pile of creamed corn. Actually, I haven't gotten around to watching The Five Obstructions yet, so I'm a little vague about the specific obstructions, but I have read the back of the DVD sleeve and decided that this film could be the springboard for a Hallowe'en themed project for myself and Mr. Clark.
Here, at last, is the premise: Each Thursday in October (and there are five of them), Mr. Clark and I will post a new monster story based on a particular theme. A new type of monster will be covered each week. However, Mr. Clark and I have agreed to consent to a particular "obstruction" each week to further sharpen our narrative skills and add an additional layer of challenge to the project. Here is a schedule of The Five Monstrous Obstructions:
October 2 - Vampires (Obstruction: Vampire cannot drink anyone's blood.)
October 9 - Werewolves (Obstruction: Story must be written in the second person.)
October 16 - Zombies (Obstruction: Story must be about voodoo zombies.)
October 23 - Evil Robots [theme chosen by our gracious host, Chris Leavens] (Obstruction: Robot can have moving parts but cannot move from place to place.)
October 30 - Wild Card (Obstruction: Each of us will write about a type of monster chosen by the other writer. We will have only a week to write these stories once we learn the theme.)
A fair warning in advance of this project, dearest readers: these will be full-tilt tales of unadulterated horror guaranteed to curdle the very blood within your veins. Approach them with caution, and do not send us the bills for psychiatric visits or the removal of stains from your bedsheets and nightclothes.
I do so hope you will join us.