Western Ave. 3: This Ape Loves Kimchi by Chris Leavens

By Chris Leavens

I'm back from Hawaii, so I'm continuing the Western Ave. series with this gem. I'm not really sure what this store's called or what it sells because my Korean's a bit rusty, but I found the shop and its resident Kong entertaining, so here it is.


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That's Kong? Looks like a surfing mummy to me.


Now that you mention it, he does look like he's surfing. Maybe what he's standing on is actually a futuristic hoverboard/flying advertisement developed by the race of super goats who, according to the uncannily-accurate predictions of Nostradamus, will eventually overtake our planet with their superior powers of digestion.

Does nobody read imaginary newspapers here? Surf-Mummy-Goat is a popular chain of office supply stores in North Korea; they advertise heavily in said papers. It's why the two unofficial names for the chain are "imaginary paper ad-revenue generator" and "kewl."

When a person next to you on the hyper-rail says: "I'm going to imaginary paper ad-revenue generator," they probably mean they are out of 20-pound laserprinter paper. They are probably also a North Korean spy, but what they buy in this country is their business.


You should know better than to stand so close to a monkey-suicide. Or was it up there spraypainting TURK 182! in Korean? Either way, if you press the X button at the right time, you can usually kick the jumping monkey mid-air in that level. More often than not, its a one-hit kill, but if you knock them into that sign with the goat head on a pitbull body, a weapon flies out and it makes the rest of the level a breeze.

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This page contains a single entry by Chris Leavens published on April 14, 2007 12:07 AM.

Pettiness by Craig J. Clark was the previous entry in this blog.

Western Ave. 4: Flirnitlire by Chris Leavens is the next entry in this blog.

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