(sung to the tune of Born to Run)
In the day we hide from alien viruses and murderous skateboard teens,
At night we run from reptile hookers and vampire Charlie Sheens.
Sprung from fumes on the 405,
Undead Nicky Hilton wants to eat your face alive--Oh,
Maybe this town rips the bones from your back;
It's a death trap,
It's a suicide pact.
Better get out with our brains,
Or kids like us, baby we'll be torn in twain!
Why don't you let me in,
I wanna wear your skin,
I wanna eat your vital organs;
Then I'll throw your body to the mutant rappers
Who'll burn your fat on their torches.
Will you ever learn there's no end to this hell?
You should end it now,
Or your skull will be Leno's inkwell.
Go load your shotgun, run for the beach,
You got nowhere to turn, escape is out of reach...
The blood's cooling in your veins,
It's over now, baby you been torn in twain! (repeat 3x)
(pipe organ solo: 4 bars, then fade out other instruments, then 12 more bars and slow to stop)