Today, Unloosen Awareness Month honors Chris Leavens, editor and creator of Unloosen, with his own day.
On February 24, 1976, Chris Leavens was born. 200 years previous to his birth, a gang of rebels wearing powdered wigs created a country called the United States of America with Mr. Leavens in mind. As Benjamin Franklin, the best President in the history of our nation, said so eloquently, "This 'U.S. of A.' will provide Christopher Leavens, our future's greatest hope for entertainment and the cook behind some of the most kick-ass hot wings known to man, both a safe and joyous homeland and legions of fans who will stream into their local shopping malls to buy T-shirts emblazoned with his likeness. Jefferson, was that a run-on?"
As we now know, our country has failed one half of its intended mission. Hot Topics throughout the nation feel an emptiness and they don't know why. Where are the Chris Leavens bobble-heads? The Chris Leavens signature milk tumblers? What about the Chris Leavens color-changing puffy stickers?
Does Chris Leavens sit around and mope and cry about these things? No sir/madam! He soldiers on daily, and, head held high he dreams up more bizarre and useless information with which to pummel the masses. Sometimes he even showers.
Help Chris Leavens help the U.S.A. achieve the greatness our Founding Fathers foresaw 230 years ago by celebrating Unloosen Awareness Month's Chris Leavens Day. Read some of Chris's stories or look at some of the pictures he's taken with his camera. Let him live in your heart and then maybe one day in the future, he'll live on your shirt, only in screen-printed or iron-on form.
I can think of no better person to end this week on than our illustrious leader, webmaster, editor and -- best of all -- friend.
Ah, Chris, my Chris.....the ever talented, brilliant, and charming. I am so thrilled that you have allowed yourself this special day. The only way that I can think to make this day better is to add nutmeg.