I can't find my left sock. You know, the light brown one, with the little pattern of squares? Have you seen it anywhere?
Sockless in St. Louis
Dear Francis Todd,
Your yen for anonymity bothers the Intell-head. Remember, my Intelli allows me to know all, including your name.
Your lack of responsibility regarding your precious socks is atrocious, but to hide yourself behind a false name is a crime. And you are aware that sock neglect is a federal crime, are you not? Clean up your act or end up in the big house.
By the way, I have seen your sock. I rescued her from the alley next to the Laundromat you so carelessly wash your clothing at. I have named her Gladys. Gladys has told me about your years of elastic abuse as well, Fran. Stay away from the poor child.